I recently had the privilege of being invited by Osahon Orchard, my amazing, supportive former tutor, to South Staffordshire College to talk with counselling students about my journey through studying, qualifying and moving into Private Practice. Osahon is an experienced counsellor, supervisor and the best tutor I have ever had. It was also a privilege to share the space with a colleague from our training years, Kevin Talbot. Kevin is based in Tamworth, works in person and online with a specialism in male centred therapy. Kevin supports a broad range of clients, a specialist in male centred therapy, a much-needed approach as men often feel unheard, misunderstood, which prevents them for seeking counselling.
As I travelled to the college, I recalled the multiple academic essays, reflective journals, skills practice, my very first placement, and first client. I recalled feelings of excitement, nervousness, self-doubt, fear of failure, not being good enough. Putting myself back into my student frame of reference enabled me to speak with them honestly, openly, empathically about my experience.
Balancing study with work, personal, family life
We are all different, some of us like ‘to do’ lists, project plans, for others they hold information in their minds, or work better under pressure and tight deadlines. For me being organised, blocking out time to study and sticking to it, was key. This enabled me to plan ahead, to focus on priorities and have time away from study too. I didn’t always manage it but my plan certainly helped me to stay on track!
Self-reflection
Counselling training is emotionally demanding. A core module of the training is self-reflection, looking deep inside myself, analysing, pulling apart my thoughts, behaviours and actions to really understand what made me who I am. This is important, as being a counsellor means leaving our own experiences, thoughts and feelings outside the counselling room – being able to be fully present with the client in their frame of reference.
Whilst our personal experiences inform our understanding of what clients may be facing – they are OUR experiences and not theirs. This is why undertaking personal counselling is mandatory to the course. We need to know who we are, before we can support others.
Self-care and Supervision
Time away from study became even more crucial once I started my placement. It is here, with real clients, where counselling comes alive. It is important for counsellors to be able to ‘hold’ the client safely, whilst ensuring we don’t internalise their distress. Clinical supervision, a mandatory requirement for trainee and qualified counsellors, is where we explore, process, our own reflections, ensuring we work ethically, and avoid burn out. Equally important is our own self-care. For me it is exercise, reading, and TV that requires little thinking!
Qualification, growth
My final message to the students was this – trust yourself, trust the process, embrace every aspect of learning, even the hard bits, know that you are enough. The qualification is the beginning, not the end. Counsellors never stop learning, we are never ‘done’. I learn from my clients, my supervision, my ongoing continuous personal development. My continued growth enables me to be the best counsellor I can be in support of my clients.
Final thoughts
The studying, the hundreds of unpaid volunteer hours in placement, time spent grappling with complex theories, writing essays, hours of supervision and personal counselling, the financial layout, are worth it, you are worth it.
It is a privilege to support my clients; to know they can trust me with their deepest thoughts and feelings, to see them heal and grow. I will leave you with this quote from Carl Rogers, the founder of Person-Centred Therapy:
“People are just as wonderful as sunsets if you let them be. When I look at a sunset, I don't find myself saying, "Soften the orange a bit on the right-hand corner." I don't try to control a sunset. I watch with awe as it unfolds.”
― Carl R. Rogers, A Way of Being
If you’d like to speak with Kevin, you can find out more about him on his website: Focused Mind Counselling Services
If you would like to speak with Osahon you can find out more about her here: Osahon Orchard