The onset of children going back to school, perhaps for the very first time, and for young people starting University, got me thinking about my own experience as a mum when my grown-up children left home.

I had heard the term ‘empty nest syndrome’ but had not really given it much thought as I juggled family life with a full-time career. I was not prepared for the heart wrenching loss I felt when my son went to University.

I cried when I left him in his Uni room. I cried solidly for 24 hours. It felt like the loss of my identity as a mum, that things would never be the same again. I recall someone asking me what was wrong, When I told them they said, ‘Is that all!! We thought someone had died!’

To me it felt like grief. Of course I was proud of my son. I knew this was the natural order of things. As parents, carers, we enable our children to fly the nest, to become their own person. Just like grief my life gradually grew around the change. I still missed him, we were in regular contact, and our relationship remained strong.

To all mums, dads, and carers, who, experiencing for the first time a child starting school, going to Uni, or leaving home, it is natural and normal to feel the change, the loss of something. It is also normal to feel relieved, happy. Sometimes these changes coincide with others such as Menopause, Andropause, aging parents, bereavement.

If you are feeling overwhelmed, want to make sense of your feelings, it may be good to talk to someone – and that’s OK too.

You can find out more about Empty Nest Syndrome in these articles by MIND and the BBC.

http://Empty nest: Coping when your child leaves for university - Mind

Empty nest syndrome: The unexpected grief - BBC News